Saturday, March 5, 2011

The Great Mystery

I wrote this about a month before Dave died and never published it.  I thought it was time.....
Suddenly a sadness has overcome me with the realization that my life here at New Moon Farm is quickly coming to an end. I have such wonderful memories of how Dave and I started this little organic farm. On a shoestring, with nothing more than a lot of grand ideas and a dream, we began what would be a decade long odyssey pursuing something that meant the world to both of us.

In the beginning, we had no intention of turning this into a working organic farm. We only wanted to be as sustainable as possible, grow our own organic food and be as "off grid" and self sufficient as we could manage. And we did a pretty good job of it, too. Dave called this New Moon Farm because, as I have quoted before, the new moon in Native American culture signifies new beginnings and endless possibilities and that resonated with us both.

Also, as a very spiritual man, Dave liked the idea that the new moon also represented "The Great Mystery" (God, if you will). Everything that he ever did here was thought out with the guiding hand of that Higher Power in every word and deed. He didn't go to church because he didn't feel comfortable with listening to the subject matter in most of the sermons being given. He believed that to truly find God you had to look within yourself.

He also strongly believed that the clergy had a responsibility and the perfect opportunity to speak to the many growing environmental concerns and overall abuse of this beautiful planet by mankind, as well as man's abuse of himself. It was his opinion that the clergy had influence that would encourage people to pay attention and that the opportunity was being wasted by the vast majority of them. That bothered him a lot and so he chose to be close to the Great Spirit in the earth, the sky, the sea and the wind. He also refused to refer to God as anything but the Creator, the Great Spirit or the Universe but his reasons for that were deeply personal and I won't go into that here. 

Dave was the most spiritual man I have ever known. His intuitive nature enabled him to see things with such clarity that sometimes he astounded me with the depth of his preceptions.  He told me many times that he felt the Presence within himself when he was out working in the fields. Every seed he planted, every spade of dirt he turned, he did in service to God and to his fellow man. That was a pretty powerful motivation for him and it guided every thing that he did in the gardens. He has such a respect for all living things that he said a small prayer each time he turned under a spent crop, thanking it for providing for us.  

He planted by the signs, spiritual ones, that were as clear to him as if they had been written in a manual on how to grow using the Creator's hand.  I wish I had the level of awareness that he had in matters like that.  All I can do is focus on remembering what he taught me over the years and hope that what I do makes him proud. 

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Grief is a universal emotion, not exclusive to the human race and it makes my heart ache to think that life has to be so brutal. But maybe without knowing loss, without knowing grief we would not realize how very precious life is and we would not cling to it with every fiber of our being. I guess that is what survival instinct really boils down to because even though I hate a lot of my life right now, the alternative scares me to pieces.